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My stomach hurts...

I never, ever enjoy being 'bad cop'. But I did it. I stuck to my guns, told the recruiter that I really want the job, but that I just can't drop that low. Stuck with my original 'bottom line' plus 1K per some excellent advice received, and let her go back to the decisionmaker -- who I *know* knew just how low-ball the offer was. It's a good thing I didn't have to do that in person, but over the phone. I'm shaking like a leaf, and the lunch that was sitting on my desk will now wilt into inedibility.

How on earth do we condition ourselves so very, very well to think we shouldn't be assertive? It's not like I'm some kind of shy, retiring mouse in my interpersonal relations, or in my volunteer efforts, or even with my project teams.

Sigh. 4th generation working woman and I'm reduced to a queasy tummy and the shakes at having to stand up for myself financially. Ridiculous.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
mintwitch
Oct. 17th, 2003 09:45 am (UTC)
Congratulations, madame, on sticking by your guns. It gets easier, I promise.
chrisjournal
Oct. 17th, 2003 10:01 am (UTC)
Thank you, for everything.

/goes back to needing her mommy ;-)
wisteria_
Oct. 17th, 2003 10:03 am (UTC)
{{Chris}}
spicklething
Oct. 17th, 2003 10:12 am (UTC)
Good job, dear. You won't regret it.

I'm sure you've negotiated prices for houses and cars before. Think of this as that same stupid dance that can't be avoided. Take a deep breath and relax. The scary part is over!

And congrats on the job too!
chrisjournal
Oct. 17th, 2003 10:17 am (UTC)
Good job, dear. You won't regret it.

Regret. That's really where it's all at, isn't it? Fear that I'll regret 'letting it get away'. But you're, as usual, 100% correct, all of you. I can't regret this, because at the very, very least, I've learned something and taken a step forward.

Look out Hilary Clinton, here I come (NOT!)
ljs
Oct. 17th, 2003 10:33 am (UTC)
You did great, no matter what happens! Yay you!

[hugs Chris]
shadowlass
Oct. 17th, 2003 11:08 am (UTC)
I never, ever enjoy being 'bad cop'. But I did it. I stuck to my guns, told the recruiter that I really want the job, but that I just can't drop that low.

Good Chris!! Congratulations!
(Deleted comment)
10zlaine
Oct. 17th, 2003 12:10 pm (UTC)
Believe it or not, I'm having sympathetic assertiveness sickie-stomach pains with you. I don't think I have an ounce of assertiveness in me when it comes to selling myself. Ugh.

But, you did it. It's your recruiter's job to sell you to them and convince them to negotiate. How they respond may very well tell you the way you may/might have been eventually treated or respected. Oh, and there's that fate thing.

It'll be okay.
freixenet
Oct. 17th, 2003 12:20 pm (UTC)
You go, Chris! That is exactly the way to do it. You are strongwilled and powerful and you know what you want and how to get it. Nerves are not the point--the point is that you went ahead and did it DESPITE nerves! That's real courage. ::hugs::
mommanerd
Oct. 17th, 2003 12:23 pm (UTC)
It sounds like you handled it perfectly.

Keep us posted.
cindergal
Oct. 17th, 2003 01:46 pm (UTC)
You did it! That's the important thing. I can totally relate to the queasiness - that's exactly how I get in these kinds of situations. The hard part is over now, though - and hopefully they'll get back to you soon.

You are woman! *g*
dettiot
Oct. 17th, 2003 02:07 pm (UTC)
{{{hugs}}} I was in a similiar situation once--got a job offer, but the pay sucked. And I didn't feel confident enough to really put up a fight, so I didn't take the job, and then spent another six months looking. And while I'm happy with the job I have, at times I can't help wondering how things might have gone if I'd gotten kick-ass and negotiated for a better salary. So go you! The ball's in their court--they'd be fools to let you get away.
taramisu
Oct. 18th, 2003 07:19 am (UTC)
Well, what happened?!
chrisjournal
Oct. 18th, 2003 07:35 am (UTC)
She said she'd take it back to the director, didn't seem surprised, and now I'm waiting again.

::sits on hands::
taramisu
Oct. 18th, 2003 07:36 am (UTC)
GGGGGGGRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!
chrisjournal
Oct. 18th, 2003 07:45 am (UTC)
Shhhhh. The penguins are dancing, and I'm using them to distract myself!
taramisu
Oct. 18th, 2003 07:52 am (UTC)
Are they doing the twist? 'Cuz I'd like to see them try that.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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