Chris (chrisjournal) wrote,

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Getting the whack back...

That's what's the matter, in a nutshell. I'm spending far too much time doing practical, linear, logicky stuff, and it's mucking with my whole system. I'm outta whack, and I can't get back in balance. The inspiration and moon cycles are mucking with the writing, and the utter perfection of pacing so far this season on Buffy leaves me without the ability to wank outlandish tales. And I'm afraid to touch the burning emotions simmering under the surface...

In my head, I see hope. Lots of hope. We're finally getting a redemption story, I think. And perhaps we'll even see Buffy learn to love again. But I need the hope in my heart, too. The logick-y side of me is not enough to convince the creative soul. And I need true belief. Somewhere this summer I found it, but the image of Spike smouldering on the cross haunts me.

Random BY thought 2462: I've always thought he might have been a second son, destined for a parson's lot in life in Victorian England... That his mother or his father was a faith by the rod sort, that his poetry and his romantic, unrealistic longings were the only sort of rebellion a gentle soul could muster. Wonder if we'll get a bit more William background at some point?

And wouldn't it be loverly to be let into some of those voices and images haunting him?


I am obsessed. Somebody point me to the whack, please?

'Til tomorrow.

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