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I had to ask what year it was today, actually.

Topsy-turvy hardly covers it. I have good days, and I have bad ones. Today, sucked. But yesterday was good. Writing is of the nothappening. Reading, though is happening -- I've caught several (though far from all) of the lovely Spuffy Kinkathon fics, worked my way through the phenomenal Secretary fic (good lord did that hit every button I possess???), and keep visiting back to the lonely Buffy/Wesley links I've scavenged.

I haven't the time or the finger strength to even talk about what's been consuming me, let's just say that relocation has not yet occurred, and we're caught in the middle of a very ugly and disheartening situation. So I've made my (somewhat temporary) peace with where we are and what I am doing, and am now making an attempt to climb out of the hole that's swallowed me and regain some timespace that is mine and mine alone (translation: I miss you guys and I miss fandom and I miss writing, and I don't have time for it all, but I'm out here, floating about and will pipe up from time to time, I promise).

What brought me out of hiding? No, not the guilt. Guilt is of my own making, and I feel bad for just sorta piping up here like this, but I saw chenanceou's post today about giving fellow writers the lurve, and thought that I didn't dare not do this. First, let me say that I adore and have learned from all of you, and picking people out is hard. So I'm going with those who have had the biggest influence on me as a writer, an editor, and a fan...

redeem147 -- quietly supportive, unbelievably productive, and a complete master of turning moments into *real* stories. Colleen has been fic mama to soooooo many wonderful writers that it's hard to do her enough justice. What's always struck me more than anything about Colleen's writing (there are many strong points) is the completely natural feel to her dialogue, no matter how simple the concept the story is built around.

mintwitch -- oh please. Y'all had to know I was going to name her. I wouldn't still be here without her. She responded to a pitiful newbie's plea for mentorship with her usual brusque and utterly efficient manner, and though she had to be (wait for it) talked into writing, her writing has influenced how I use words, how I read fic, how I edit myself and others. So many, many hours of pleasure have come from Mint's pure originality, and I'm grateful.

ljs and elsaf -- These are, in my opinion, the queens of plot. Gorgeous and expert use of language and rich characterization are strengths in these writers, but what I've learned most, what I literally *study* in their tales, is the way they weave conflict into their plots to keep me chasing through to the prolific end.

gwynnega -- her quiet depth and light touch with both romance and angst in the Willow/Giles world which captured me when the shine fell off of Spuffy have been a real inspiration to me. I admire many things about her writing, but for me, she is the queen of romantic fiction.

estepheia -- Steffi's stories don't always suit my pairing palate, but what never ceases to amaze me is her versatility and technical precision. As most of you know, my kinks tend to be of the very het variety, yet I find myself reading at least part of all of Steffi's stories just to find out what in the world will she do beautifully next. I love to look at her work and pull it apart, think about what makes it tick, and inevitably take away some "aha" or another about the characters she's addressed in her tale.

There are so many more of you I'd like to point out -- those who've taught me about metaphor, lyrical language, layering of theme and meaning, how to tell a plain old, flat out good story... But I am out of time and shall therefore bid you adieu with the knowledge that if I'd had the time, I'd eventually have listed each of you writerly types here, including those of you who rarely write any more.

Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
freixenet
Mar. 8th, 2005 01:48 am (UTC)
Oh, hon--::hugs you:: sounds rough for Chris these days. Sending you strength in assorted boxes of chocolates, massages, and the best possible champagne.
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:22 am (UTC)
And some ben-gay for you, too. Overdoing I can soooo relate to.

*gentle hugs*
janedavitt
Mar. 8th, 2005 01:50 am (UTC)
Sorry things aren't going so well for you.

Thank you for the Secretary mention; so glad you enjoyed it! We all miss writing it very much.
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:21 am (UTC)
*hugs you*

*prods you not to let the Wesley/Giles/Willow WIP die entirely*

I miss Secretary, too.
(no subject) - janedavitt - Mar. 8th, 2005 02:24 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chrisjournal - Mar. 8th, 2005 02:33 am (UTC) - Expand
slackerace
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:14 am (UTC)
You found Buffy/Wes? Where?
minim_calibre
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:24 am (UTC)
There's a whole archive of it: http://latitude.adamao.org

(Which needs updating, but ::cough:: I haven't had the time or energy lately)
(no subject) - chrisjournal - Mar. 8th, 2005 02:28 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - slackerace - Mar. 8th, 2005 02:40 am (UTC) - Expand
ljs
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:15 am (UTC)
Oh, Chris! [hugs] I am so, so sorry for your woes -- will light a candle and send good thoughts, as many as I can. I so hope it will get better for you soon.

And thank you very much for your kind mention of me here, and for your own wonderful writing. I hope you're able to follow your own talent soon. [hugs hugs hugs]
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:29 am (UTC)
I don't mean to complain, I really shouldn't. I'm so much more fortunate than many on my flist here, not to mention in real life.

I'm on for the ride right now, I suppose. Eventually it will change :-)

*hugs Lori*
minim_calibre
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:29 am (UTC)
Oh, I do hope things get better soon.

Many hairpats and hugs to you.
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 02:31 am (UTC)
This from a woman who's as far along in such a difficult pregnancy means much... hugs back, and good wishes! Nothing in life has brought me so much pain or so much pleasure as motherhood. May it be all that you want it to be, and more.
(Deleted comment)
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 03:49 am (UTC)
*big, sloppy hugs*

No, I most definitely didn't mean to make you cry. But if it's happy salt water leaking, then I at least will feel no guilt.

*more hugs*
(Deleted comment)
10zlaine
Mar. 8th, 2005 03:50 am (UTC)
I hope you know that every little minute and word I get of your time means absolute loads to me--utterly and sincerely.

Your loyalty and staunch support in so many areas continues to amaze me--I just wish I could return it even 1/10th.
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 01:48 pm (UTC)
*smooches you*

Karma is a beautiful thing.
lounge_lily
Mar. 8th, 2005 04:31 am (UTC)
Hello lovely. Wonderful to see you, if only briefly. Do come back and play with us soon.
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 01:24 pm (UTC)
*hugs Lyric*

Ooooh. Another hiding person. Hello!
gwynnega
Mar. 8th, 2005 04:52 am (UTC)
So sorry you've been going through a rough time, Chris! But thank you so much for what you said about my writing - that means so much to me. I look forward to reading something new by you when you have the time to write again...

::hugs::
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 01:26 pm (UTC)
::hugs back::

You are *also* so very, very encouraging. Someday, when I'm sixtysomething and the kids are on their own, I'm going to be one of those gray-haired women in an MFA program because of your example. I'm sure of it.
mintwitch
Mar. 8th, 2005 07:33 am (UTC)
You're doing great, babe, just hang in there. ::Hugs:: Also, it's good to know the MAS is still in full force. I had to laugh at us. It was a good laugh. Thank you.
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 01:29 pm (UTC)
Grins. Of course it is!

::hanging::
paratti
Mar. 8th, 2005 11:02 am (UTC)
I'm sorry you're going through a rough time.

(((hugs))) you.
chrisjournal
Mar. 8th, 2005 01:30 pm (UTC)
*hugs Lesley back*

You know I've got you on my list too, ya? I just ran out of time...

I won't ever give up on fandom as long as you guys are in it.
(no subject) - paratti - Mar. 8th, 2005 01:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
dettiot
Mar. 8th, 2005 03:04 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad to see that you're trying to carve some time out for yourself--I hope it works out for you! {{{hugs}}}
chrisjournal
Mar. 9th, 2005 12:18 am (UTC)
{{hugs back}}

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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